a quiet moment ...alone?

Do all mothers go through this? Am I good enough? Do I love them enough? Are they HAPPY? Am I focused enough on her? IS it wrong that I let her explore and not hover?

She has such a strong personality that just seems to continuously explode- how can I stop her? Why would I want to stop her?

I go from a moment of the utmost confidence - dinner, bathtime, bedtime, sleep - I have completed her day to Oh.my.god. I am not that fun and we really need more toys. Confidence in the dregs...we need a playgroup now!

She smiles at me like crazy though and I have never felt so happy in my life. If I could just quit my stupid job...

Stupid money - always gets in the way.

But still, I get to hold her everyday. I have held her everyday since she was born, laughed with her, cried with her, sang with her, screeched with her, crawled with her.

I remember hearing her cry when she was born, my husband rushing to her as I was magnetically held to the gurney with many, many drugs and calling out, B, is she ok?

And she was and she is. And I have never been so in love.

for crying out loud ...go to sleep...

Why I have not put myself to bed I do not know...

Living in close proximity to your family involves family commitments of gigantic proportion leaving "my family" time a little lean...

and leaves little time to do errands which we did all day and now I am exhausted and my baby is teething and she cried so hard I cried...

and now I am worrying about the project at work and when I am going to paint her cute little pictures for her room.

BLAH! I just threw up on myself because I am so whiny.

GOOD NIGHT! it must be something like 3 am...

My beautiful...

The smile, eyes, dimple...perfect, beautiful little being.

I miss her when she sleeps at night and during the day I wonder when she will nap...
The battle of sleep - all worth it.