Do all mothers go through this? Am I good enough? Do I love them enough? Are they HAPPY? Am I focused enough on her? IS it wrong that I let her explore and not hover?
She has such a strong personality that just seems to continuously explode- how can I stop her? Why would I want to stop her?
I go from a moment of the utmost confidence - dinner, bathtime, bedtime, sleep - I have completed her day to Oh.my.god. I am not that fun and we really need more toys. Confidence in the dregs...we need a playgroup now!
She smiles at me like crazy though and I have never felt so happy in my life. If I could just quit my stupid job...
Stupid money - always gets in the way.
But still, I get to hold her everyday. I have held her everyday since she was born, laughed with her, cried with her, sang with her, screeched with her, crawled with her.
I remember hearing her cry when she was born, my husband rushing to her as I was magnetically held to the gurney with many, many drugs and calling out, B, is she ok?
And she was and she is. And I have never been so in love.
No comments:
Post a Comment